In high school they skim the 'top' students (by exam scores) and group them into one class. they schedule more "cram class" for them (supervised self-study time, usually until 11 pm, Saturdays and Sundays). On top of that, they are also a target of gossip and bullying from the other students. These "elite" students are groomed to produce top exam scores. Thus, my class interferes with exam prep; they are too 'mature' to pry themselves away from their physics text book to enjoy a game for an hour or do a simple conversation activity. Many go to extra curricular Academies, so their English abilities are higher but it's harder to get it out of them. They are smart girls for sure, but often more difficult to engage. My lowest level girls make more mistakes, but they're so excited to talk to me about the latest Gossip Girl plot, boys, or the co-teacher who doesn't wear a bra that they don't need much coaxing to get talking. So, for this special class, I need to come up more challenging activities, that they can't just ignore since I make them present the final result to the class and my camera (I lie and say the other teachers will watch it... which they don't; too busy. Christ).
Awhile back I held a speech contest where students could talk about anything they felt strongly about. Not surprisingly, a lot of students chose problems with the Korean education system (although a few girls did use the 2 minutes for an in depth analysis of the sexiness of Johnny Depp). I told the students to express themselves freely, and share their honest opinions without fear. The co-teacher was a bit shocked, I think, to hear these normally docile, obedient 'top' students express such rebellious, anti-establishment thoughts. And probably she was a bit confused with my choices for the top 3 speeches. While the standard "Impossible is nothing" "Respect Public Order" "Dokdo is Ours" speeches might impress in one of the Board of Education speech contests (borrrring), I was more interested in creativity, originality, intelligence and spirit.
This is one of my favorite speeches from the bunch. Her original script was much more incendiary, with some musings about protesting, and breaking into the principal's office, but on the day of her speech a Korean co-teacher attended, so she censored a little. Her pronunciation isn't great, but I like when she says "some student's souls leave their bodies and they play outside... they become dead jelly fish." Very true... I've had similar thoughts at the front of the class, looking out at the sea of dead eyes. How sad is it that all she wants is enough time to eat dinner and lunch?
They are essentially good kids. I would have liked to have made more of a difference, if the situation had allowed them more time and energy to give my class.
"Another interesting aspect of the Christmas season in Seoul is the holiday music. Nearly every shop, cafe, and department store can be heard playing popular Christmas music. Ironically, it is unlikely that you will hear any American business playing songs with Christmas lyrics. Instead, shops play muzak, or elevator music. These are the low quality instrumental versions of Christmas classics without the singing... The phrase 'Merry Christmas' is used uniquely in Korea. In the U.S., it can only be heard in churches and privately among family members who recognize the holiday. You will not find businesses advertising 'Christmas sales' or giving 'Christmas greetings'."
Huh? Obviously this dude never worked in retail. My last North American Christmas basically tainted any scrap of appreciation I ever had Xmas tunes, after being mind bashed daily by the "Christmas" Radio station our company demanded we play (studies have shown it puts people in the mood to spend, spend, spend.. good tidings indeed). And I can't count how many "Merry Christmases" I had to parrot through gritted teeth after every customer paid for their organic soy eggnog lattes.
After working in the service industry, I am actually thankful to be free this year from the shrill vocal stylings from the axis of evil that is Mariah, Whitney, and Celine. Nevertheless, there are some decent xmas tunes that, while they may not make the ipod, will probably get some youtube hits tonight as I make rumballs, buttertarts and pumpkin pie.
happy holidays, and so on, hope everyone is keeping well, and knows that i am missing all those near and dear, here on my second xmas in this tiny Korean town :(
i never thought of myself as an organized person... more of an absentminded professor... but compared to "these people" (sigh, when did i start using that phrase?) i've become a Type A. i used to think the language barrier was the reason for me always being in the dark about plans, but actually, my co-teacher often doesn't know what's going to happen either, until moments before. everything like days off, exams and staff trips seem to be depend on the whims of some dude in the office, who likes to wait until the day before to alert everyone... via the office messenger, which is in a language i cannot understand, thus i am often unprepared. in response to my surprise, they ask, "didn't you know...?" which is infuriating. i have no idea how they deal with the slim time frame this type of on the fly sheduling leaves you to prepare for classes. i suspect not much preparation actually goes into their classes, since they seem to rely heavily on text books, and the older teachers spend most of their in between class time sleeping at their desks, watching tv shows and eating snacks.
I've been asking all month about january's schedule, so i can use the free time i had during this month (when the student's had final exams) to plan my lessons and prepare the necessary materials. simple stuff like which students will i teach (new ones? or the same ones, in which case i should make new lessons?), their grade level, how often i will see them (so i know how many lessons to prepare) and how large the classes will be, etc. "It is not yet decided," they explained. Finally, today they finalized the schedule which will begin next month. I had put together a few powerpoints and lessons based on the vague information I was given. Now i find out i will be in a classroom without a computer or tv. And, I will have no co-teacher at all. I will also see one group everyday, which means I need to double the amount of lessons I have. So as usual, this must be done in a last minute scramble, days before the actual class.
it's like they go out of their way to make sure i do a bad job.
Lesson planning is tough and time consuming, especially if you're new at this and don't have any guidlines, resources or help. How people managed before the internet is a mystery. But now, there is so much ESL stuff online, it can be overwhelming to sift through. Here's the links i found most useful.
Ready to Go Lessons: (the good stuff): Of course every lesson must always be adapted for your class. But there are nice teachers out there sharing complete lessons that only need a little adaptation. Don’t be an asshole; if you borrow lessons from others, reciprocate with some of your own.
Worksheets: Cloze style, fill in the blank worksheets; useful for upper level adult classes, but a paper waster for younger students with no motivation to participate. Good filler though, for unexpected classes or hopeless cases.
Ideas: Helpful for brainstorming new lessons. There’s many good ideas you could adapt to High School, but in my experience, free talking based exercises don’t work on their own.; without structure, or a worksheet to complete, most students don’t know what to do, including adults.
Pronunciation: Probably best suited to advanced learners. But pronunciation is an area where I feel competent, and actually necessary.You can download whole PDF lesson guides for a total English pronunciation course. Could plan a whole teacher’s class around them.
Oooo. i was told not to expect snow until February, but look what i awoke to! X-mas is basically a non-event again this year for me, aside from a cozy day off. Christmas is not such a big deal here compared to home (somewhat of a relief), though today i did see some saucy schitzus and promotional girls ("도우미") in festive red Santa mini dresses. Snow is so invigorating. And, when you do nothing but stay inside under a blanket drinking coffee, baking and reading, you don't feel lazy because it's totally justified. X-mas is all about the food, so i am getting excited about cooking dinner, and baking copious desserts this Thursday, though there will be more food than guests. And the next day, Boxing Day, I get to wake up early and go back to school to join the staff for a celebratory field trip to a nuclear factory... yessssssss!
Friday: sunny... Monday: !!!
Neko's first snowy walk... "WTF!???"
Sufjan Stephens: That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!
Oh my god i am so done with this job. sometimes i think, yeah, i could do another year, and then days like this bring me to my senses.
So, the project work had been going smoothly. the plan was to present next week, last week of classes. Tada. Put them on stage, make them perform, film it, applaud, make the Koreans nod in approval, because this is how English is done, right? But, some groups still haven't done a thing, even though they've had weeks. The co-teacher has made things worse. As a rampant alcoholic and pathologial liar who sleeps, sings, screams and disrupts the class, her presence has negated any validity my class once had as a "real" class one must take seriously. She is often harder to control than the students. Other groups have completely LOST the reports and posters they've been making all month. So they have nothing to present. Coincidently, this caught on like mono. Now, other groups are claiming there is some kind of homework stealing thief. Incredible. I suspect this is their way of getting away with doing fuck all. They said, "teacher, no presentation, minus score" knowing full well there is no score.
Throughout the year, whenever I tried to motiate or discipline them, more than a few girls explained "teacher, me no brain.. marry boy, many many babies, just love." The frequency of students who have said this, combined with the frightening reality of this occuring and the INSANE out of control global overpopulation problem really makes me see sterilization in a new light. And when the dark thoughts such as those start making regular appearances, that's a good indicator you need a change of scene.
But, I'm still going to make them stand up there and film their 5 minutes of silence. Perhaps that is the most honest representation of their abilities, though. Aside from a few shining stars, I give up on Korean students.
This song remind me of Christmas. It makes me happy.
Pavement song about financial corruption used in commercial for Korean finance company's credit package?
Sample Lyrics... "Pigs, they tend to wiggle when they walk the infrastructure rots and the owners hate the jocks with their agents and their dates if the signatures are checked you'll just have to wait and we're counting up the instants that we save tired nation so depraved from the cheap seats see us wave to the camera ..."
Hmm. Maybe Koreans DO have an ironic sense of humour afterall.
Ah well, Stephen Malkmus can do no wrong, and Real Emotional Trash was neat.
One benefit of working in public school instead of a hagwon is that you get 15 paid sick days. However, this is restricted to us waygooks. My co-teacher told me that sick days are 'not possible' for her and the other teachers (it's funny how "Impossible is Nothing" is the most popular slogan here, yet I hear "It is not possible" like every day). I've never seen a substitute teacher come in either. Once a teacher's mother in law died, so the other teachers just covered her classes for her while she was at the funeral.
Incidentally, the funeral was a few days and took place at the local hospital. Hospitals are so different here. They have more of a casual, community hall sort of feeling compared to the sterile, clinical, formal atmosphere of hospitals back home. Your family is expected to come and care for you, bathe you, feed you and do the duties nurses do back home, so there's lots of people just hanging around. When I got tested for my Visa renewal, there were elderly women squatting on a towel having a picnic lunch in the main waiting area. I had to pee in a Dixie cup in the bathroom (filthy, no toilet paper or soap as usual) then navigate past these women without spilling the goods on anyone. But, no one batted an eye.
The hospital doubles as a funeral home. There are special rooms where they lay out bodies for viewing, beside shrines of photographs, fruit, snacks and soju bottles. It is the families responsibility to prepare and dress the body. Again, this is different from home, where nurses or funeral home staff take care of this stuff. (I wonder what people here do, if they don't have any family?) Adjacent to the body viewing room is a restaurant-like room, with a buffet of fruits, meats and boiled octopus on ice. Even though I didn't at all know my co-worker's mother in law, another teacher said we must go and pay our respects, so we drove there at lunch, said hello briefly to our co-worker, who was obviously busy and distraught, and then ate a bunch of food with some people I assume were relatives . Personally I felt uncomfortable just showing up uninvited, then stuffing my face, but I guess it was the polite thing to do?
Anyways, getting back on topic... Sick days are fairly sacred back home, especially if your job contract allows for them, and usually it's no one's business if you are sick, hung over, depressed or just having personal problems. But because sick days are unusual in Korean culture, some schools are a bit hesitant in 'allowing' you to take them, and try and rush you to a hospital for 'proof'. Luckily, my school is ok about this stuff, as long as I take them on days when I don't have classes. (Technically you should have a co-teacher, and the co-teacher should be able to lead the class with or without you because you're there to assist them, but, oh well).
As luck will have it, my annual winter flu (sore throat, fever, migraine, general grossness) seems to have hit just in time for exams, so I am taking 3 sick days to convalesce (or "take a rest"). The first time I went to a doctor in Korea was also my last. I knew exactly what the problem was, because I've had this problem numerous times before. But the doctor just slapped my stomach, chuckled, and said I had gas and should eat better. (Um, usually they need to take a physical sample, test for the bacteria and prescribe an antibiotic). Then although he said there was nothing wrong with me, he prescribed a million pills and said don't eat for a day, just take 5 pills each hour.
So, never again. Instead, I am laying in bed watching documentaries about how the world is doomed, trying to force my dog to snuggle me (my heat won't turn on again.. why???!) and eating 죽. Juk, by the way, is one of my favorite Korean comfort foods and fantastic when you're ill. It's just rice boiled with extra water, and things like chicken, seafood, mushrooms and ginseng in it. I learned to make it, and it's tasty. Mine wasn't as pretty as this, but was equally full of warm mushy goodness.
I'm also making x-mas cards to send home.. hopefully in time, but maybe not. So email me your mailing address if you want one!
lots of people asked me about what my apartment is. yes, it's been over a year since i've lived here, but finally, here is the tour, and some pics. i am pretty happy with my apartment, it's quite big, for just me, and i love the sliding partitions, and the laundry/room balcony where i have my plants.
not my apart-uh, but another like it
i've rearranged the rooms quite a few times.. here's the first bedroom, now the living room.
crazy heat controller.. still don't understand it. the only instructions i was given was "never touch the red button."
nice glass windows that slide open.. (to look out on the parking lot)
hee hee apparently the Board of Education would like the local English teachers to put on a Christmas performance.. in which we would sing and give speeches all in Korean. As no one really speaks Korean, this is going to be interesting. But at least we have more headsup than the poor teachers in Taebek who I guess were thrust on stage a few weeks ago, in front of the local news cameras, with no clue what to do. Korean culture is notoriously all about last minute. For example, today I was told we're taking a boat trip next wednesday with the staff.. "Where to?" It is not yet decided. "For how long?" Not yet decided. Sigh. Actually, I only caught whiff of this plan accidently, if i hadn't been eavesdropping, i would have just been thrown on the boat next week totally unprepared... i hope they are prepared for my notorious motion sickness, especially when they start with the soju shots and maekoli.
So, I guess giving us a few weeks notice to prepare about the perfromance is pretty good, for Korea. I probably will opt out, though. Most of the korean i know is dirty and rude, since everything I know I is from my students. Um, i can say "get away from me you perverted dirty old man" in Korean... What are the chances there's a korean song with about that? (well, actually, if there isn't, there should be..)
Someone asked me about the tiger picture on the header of my title... no, i didn't draw it, i wish! it is done by Julie Morstad, a fantastic artist from Vancouver. she drew the cover of Neko Case's fantastic Fox Confessor Brings the Flood album, which I am still not sick of. (I can't wait for the new Neko Case album, Middle Cyclone...next March!) Morstad's illustrations have an Edward Gorey quality... weird Edwardian anamorphic children and creature, at once adorable, grotesque, whimsical and macabre. She turns the most mundane activities (reading, taking tea) into surreal scenes from an Old Country faerie tale.
("Hold On, Hold On" is my favorite song from this album, but it's not on Youtube. This is my second fave... maybe).
Everyone keeps asking me what i'm going to do when i get back. i haven't responded not because i am ignoring anyone...but because i don't know! not for lack of thinking. i am reminded of the scene in the Bell Jar where Esther imagines life as a tree with many branches bearing fruit, but by the time you decide which fruit to grab, the rest have fallen off and rotted.
there's lots of things i want to do... travel around, hole up in a cabin somewhere and write, spend time with friends and family, form an experimental freak folk music act, go work on an organic farm through WOOF, go back to school. though the idea of taking out more student loans, after not paying off the first round yet, is disgusting. it would be prudent to go back for 2 years, get my education certificate so I can teach in Canada, or make more money if I work overseas again.
Do i want to teach? to be honest, not really. being the center piece of a full room of bored people is about the worst situation for someone who is shy and antisocial, and opposed both to being told what to do, and dictating to others. but i certainly don't want to be a cashier, or waitress, which are the other options for a young woman with an English degree... and the West coast is teeming with them. i bet you could find one on every bus in Vancouver city right now, at this very moment.
Trouble is, i haven't grown out of feeling like a student yet. i still wake up and go "oh mannnnnn i don't want to go to school!" and wonder if i can get away with calling in sick. at lunch i sit with my headphones listening to music, reading once banned books, just like i did when i was my student's age. smoking is scandalous for women to do in Korea, so in the beginning, i used to sneak off and smoke under a bridge, just to enjoy the delicious rebellion and secrecy of it(i quit that, because I don't actually enjoy smoking, i just like flouting codes of decency because i am infinitely immature). How can i go from being a surly little teenage shit to being ONE of the people i roll my eyes at and try to ignore? when my students say, "Why should i do this?" they totally have a point. there's no grade for my class, after all.
sometimes i catch myself saying parent/teacher stuff just to cover, like "oh when you're older, you'll wish you had paid more attention in school" or, "try your best" and such, but these are just things i've heard other adults tell me before. I think they can sense the cynicism and insincerity. I asked one girl, "why have you never done anything this whole year? and you come late to every class? What do you want to be when you grow up?" and she said something like, "Why do I need to try in school? My dad is rich and I am going to marry a rich man too and be a mom." She's got a point; daddy's a doctor, she's gorgeous, and her life is going to be just fine whether she finishes my worksheet or not. I guess here a good teacher would jump in with some admonishing proverb about effort being it's own reward, using that adult tone but i just want to laugh wryly. Another time the Wondergirls and some boy band were playing for free, 2 blocks away from the High school, but the principal forbade my students from going. But a small group of girls rallied together (the "top" students actually, who are usually unnervingly obedient) skipped self-study (He wanted them to study at school until 11 pm on a Friday night!) and had the best time ever at that concert. The next day all the teachers yelled at them, hit them, made them kneel and other sadistic punishments, but I couldn't help but beam at them with scarcely concealed pride. if it had been a better band, i probably would have gone with them. A few students told me they are planning to dupe their school and parents and go to Seoul on the pretense of visiting the University. But really, they are going to just hang out, shop, who knows. Am I going to tell anyone? try and stop them? Of course not! God, compared to what I did when I was 17...
But, is this wrong? Am I a bad teacher? I just don't know. despite everything, i think i am pretty good at teaching itself... i can explain things well and help someone understand something, if they're into it. that part is cool. if a student is willing to try, i'll match their effort twofold to get them where they want to go. but the discipline/authoritarian thing eludes me. if someone is determined not to learn, i can't really force them nor do i care to. waste of my time and theirs.
How can I ever be anyone's authority figure? i guess it's better than being controlled by someone else, or taking orders. So, I am considering enrolling in the Education program when i get back. we'll see. maybe I'll have grown up by then.
Some tunes from the angsty teen years I haven't yet grown out of yet and probably never will:
Fuck School: The Replacements (on bad days, i listen to this on headphones in the middle of the office, when the principal and all the teachers are there. they think I am studiously preparing lessons. it makes me smile).
Korean pizza is bizzare; the tomato sauce is weirdly sweet and the cheese tastes like ziplock. you find things like corn, potato, rice cakes, and squid on your pizza...perhaps all at once. and watch out for tic tac toe squares drawn in mayonnaise. (Why are all my MOST hated western foods so popular here? mayonnaise, white bread, Spam, Coke...).
But, my coteacher went to Italy awhile ago, and told me not to go, the food was disgusting. the pizza didn't taste like pizza, she explained with a nose wrinkle. go figure. But, I guess this is like how at home if you go to a Korean restaurant you mainly get japanese style tempura... which I've never had once in Korea.
Here are some interesting pizza's you can get from Dominos Korea:
- a state of motor and mental inactivity with a partial suspension of sensibility; "he fell into a deep torpor"
- listlessness: inactivity resulting from lethargy and lack of vigor or energy
- the state of lethargy (slowed being) into which some animals fall during the colder months of the year
What a great word. sounds about right. my students have exams next week, so stepping into a class full of them is like stepping into an energy vacuum.
To make it easier for myself, we started group projects last week (make a presentation about another country.. a poster, 7 min speech) which means i don't have to do much teaching or lesson preparation, just walk around poking the blanket monsters, helping the few keeners write their reports, changing grammar and whatnot. There is one precious group who of course has done nothing but pluck hairs from one another's bodies. when i asked them to get started, the leader stuck out her defiant, hairless chin, and asked "What will you give us?" Hahahaha. Oh, Korean students. So hard working and ambitious.
There are worse fates than having a job where I do nothing most of the time. But this listless inactivity, chained to a desk I can't leave monday-friday, with no lessons to even prepare (finished them long ago) does get to me sometimes. I try to keep busy, researching various topics, reading news stories, studying french, etc. My mind is fairly stimulated lately, as I follow the latest political antics with dumb wonder. Also, I'm reading A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man and rekindling my respect for Joyce.
After 7 hours of staring at the screen under the office florescent lights, I am such a zombie. doing nothing actually drains your physical energy... makes you jelly. I try to do at least 20 min of yoga when I get home, but it's not nearly enough. I need to find a way to shake out this lethargy, before it calcifies.
Midlake: Young Bride (My young bride,why aren't you moving at all? helps to make the day seem shorter..)
